Classic Quotations or Sarcastic Thoughts I Had While In Boca

Tweets I Should've Twat

-On an empty four-lane road, "you know the thing about Florida is that the roads are always crowded here.”

-Monday, Wednesday, Friday- Kinasta, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Bridge. Sunday- Water Aerobics.

-It is horribly embarrassing when you walk into a restaurant at 5:30 with your Grandma with two of her friends and a teenage girl younger than you seats you at your table.

-Popular to contrary belief, the flea market only has clothes for the 65+; there are no stores for teenagers.

-They still sell the scrunchy shirts at the Flea Market that were all the rage in 1998. (Dear Grandma, they aren’t in style anymore).

-The most appealing thing at the flea market- $9.99 sugar lips in EVERY color!!!! (For all of you who don’t get my sarcasm, this isn’t appealing).  

-"The Needlepoint store opens at 9:30 and it gets crowded by 10 so we have to be there at 9:30."

-Even though it is 81 degrees when you go out to dinner at 5:30 it is necessary and mandatory to be wearing long pants and a long sleeve shirt.

-Apparently it is acceptable in Boca to merge lanes without looking and using turn signals. And they say the Florida townies are bad drivers. #Oldfolks

-It is also acceptable to look at the boy your age with his Grandparents and share a roll of the eyes because you both just know how the other one is feeling.

-My grandma thinks that I can hear her when my headphones are on...

-Meet a woman at the pool..."she is such a goy,"-Grandma. The next day, "I was wrong! She converted, she is Jewish!"

-Flakowitz’s Deli- A much, much, much older version of Max and Benny’s. The waitresses even have to lift the men out of their wheelchairs into the real chairs.

-If you see an ethnic person in a gated community, they are probably someone’s caretaker.

-"The people drive so fast here." Nope that is just them driving the speed limit Grandma.

10 Things You Should Know Before Traveling Alone for the First Time

(Or Things That I Discovered On My First Time Flying Alone)

1.     YOU SHOULD make sure that when behind an attractive late 20-something man at security, when you take our your ID out, make sure they can’t see that your ID is a vertical (under 21) ID versus a horizontal ID (21+), it is embarrassing and all chances are gone when they know you are not even legally able to buy alcohol. You can conveniently hide your ID behind your boarding pass. Also, you should not obnoxiously take over the entire security load up table for your two bins and three bags. Both are equally embarrassing.

2.     YOU SHOULD get Starbucks at the airport. Even if you are not sophisticated enough to drink coffee (or maybe that is just me) you look a lot classier/mature if you have a Starbuck’s cup in your hand, not to mention experienced. I don’t know why, you just do.

3.     YOU SHOULD not react even if you knock over the sunglass display at Hudson News, just apologize casually and clean it up the best you can. If you make a scene, people will stare and realize you are young and probably mug you. (The part about getting mugged didn’t happen to me, but I feel like it is something that would happen to me, quite frankly, I’m surprised it didn’t).

4.     YOU SHOULD befriend Mexican teenagers from University of Washington sitting next to you on the plane because if the plane is going to go down they will probably help you. Also, if you get sick on the plane they will talk you through your fears because they were probably on a connecting flight from Seattle and threw up because of turbulence on their flight landing in O’Hare.

5.     YOU SHOULD keep your iPod on even if the flight attendant tells you to turn off all electronics before take off. Let’s be real… it doesn’t effect the plane.

6.     YOU SHOULD recline your seat as soon as you sit down in your seat on the plane. If you do it midflight, you will get some haters in your area of the plane. Shit will get real awkward.

7.     YOU SHOULD not wear a green, velour, Juicy jumpsuit on the plane… or ever. Just because green velour Juicy jumpsuits may have be in-style in 2001, doesn’t mean they are in-style now. I obviously didn’t make this mistake but the person next to me sure did. Idiot.  

8.     YOU SHOULD beware of gays on the plane. You may have experienced one gay flight attendant on a 2010 Spirit flight home from West Palm Beach which ended up making an emergency landing in Indianapolis because the man behind you had a heart attack, but you will probably experience another. My first gay flight attendant’s name was Fabio and my second’s name was Thomas. Do you think they know each other?

9.     YOU SHOULD study American Way magazine and discover after 20 minutes that contrary to popular belief, West Palm Beach is in fact on the East Coast of Florida not the West Coast. If you think that you are facing the Gulf of Mexico rather than the Atlantic Ocean you are dumb and naïve. Don’t feel bad, I was dumb and naïve prior to today.

10 YOU SHOULD say goodbye to your Mexicano friends you met from Washington because you are entering Boca Raton where the average age is deceased and you will not see someone your age until you return from your trip.

My friend named Ada

3-20-2011

Caramel Vanilla Latte.

Last night, I realized that I have three tests next Wednesday. Therefore, I began my hibernation in the UGL beginning this afternoon at 2 o'clock. I have officially began my first of many inappropriately long study breaks beginning at 5:29 PM. During these breaks I always seem to grab a quick caramel vanilla latte from one of the only unique to Champaign restaurant like places, Espresso Royale. I have always longed to be one of those people, you know exactly who I am talking about. Those women who have short, butch, haircuts who wear cargo shorts with tights, long sweaters and vintage jewelry while they sip on coffee and look more sophisticated than I will ever be. They all probably major in English and date professors ten years older than them. Okay, maybe I don't actually want to be like them because they are quite frequently mistaken for lesbians but it is fun to think.

It is not 5:36PM, I am still on my study break, and am about half way through my caramel vanilla latte. During my advertising class today I discovered a cool blog. It is called Dirtylaces.com. I would describe it as a mix between: GoodMusicAllDay.com with an added bonus of new style as well as pop-culture news. A great website in my eyes. Definitely a 'must see.' I woke up two days ago thinking that I wanted to wear jeans to class. Yesterday I cheated and wore jeggings but today I wore the real thing. And let me tell you, it has been one of those days where I have to sit at the library with my pants unbuttoned to breathe. Good thing I am only going to Boca- "Average Age Deceased" (as my Dad would say) for Spring Break.

It has quickly approached 5:45PM and I need to get back to this studying ASAP yet still 1/4 of my latte left! One cute YouTube video was shared with me today by my sister. It is an advertisement of Smart Water starring Jennifer Anniston with a featured appearance from the kid who does the lip-syncing videos of Katy Perry. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc47LcvIxyI&feature=player_embedded

Now I successfully completed a 16 minute study break.

A Bold & Brave First Post

Though I already operate a Facebook page and Twitter account, I thought it was only appropriate to spread my wittiness to blogging as well. My name is Allie Bell, currently a second semester Freshman at the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana. As of this afternoon, I am a communications major hoping to concentrate on culture and social media. Some of my interests include photography, spending time with friends, and a whole lot of other things that are pretty typical for an 18 year old freshman girl. This is my first shot at a independent creative writing blog type thing, so here it goes.